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I wrote a couple of months ago about a snake skin I found
in my house. I tricked myself into believing it got in there
all by itself. Well, as Paul Harvey would say, now for the
rest of the story.
I office out of my house. Misty Hensley, my office
administrator, and I were working last week. I went
to my kitchen. I saw my cat intently looking at something
under my kitchen table. My country lifestyle immediately
changed forever. There was a snake wrapped about the leg
of the table. I just backed out of the room.
Misty and I are always playing jokes on one another.
“Misty, I know you aren’t going to believe me, but
there is a snake in the kitchen, a big one.” She was a bit
leery at first, but followed me back to where the cat was
keeping watch.
THIS THING WAS HUGE! Well, for a snake
inside my house, it was huge. We traded ideas about what
to do. My compassion went straight out the window, and
I voted for the death penalty.
Misty, however, thought it would be a good idea
to ‘catch and release’. Now, I couldn’t tell for sure, but
from where I was standing, the snake looked to be about 3
ft. long. And, Misty’s plan did not sound good to me at all.
But, I let her talk me into trying. Mistake #1
She found a box that was about 12”x12”. This is
what we can call mistake #2. We had a shovel. The snake
still hadn’t moved even with her first scoop towards the
box. The box, however, did move. Her next bright idea
was for me to get on a nearby chair, reach way over, and
hold it in place. I don’t know where my last brain cell was
at the time, but I went along with the plan. And, this will
be mistake #3.
BAD MOVE! The snake wasn’t going to go
peacefully into the box. It did not, however, have a problem
finding it’s way under the chair. Yep, the chair I was
standing on. Well, I wasn’t standing on it for long as I did
a Superman leap back to the door. As you can imagine, we
are hooping and screaming like little girls by this time.
Misty, who really wouldn’t hurt a fly, is now yelling,
“Kill it! Kill It!” I suddenly realize that I have never
killed anything bigger than an insect, but the snake now
has to die........if we can find it.
Back in the doorway, where we started this little venture,
we are plotting our next move. We are both shaking. We
can’t see the snake. But Sweet Pea, my hero cat, has found
it’s hiding place. And, maybe before we are ready, herds
it back into the open.
I have my shovel, and start my attack. THERE!
I GOT IT!! I have it pinned to the floor with the shovel.
But, plan B wasn’t going well either. I couldn’t kill it. Using
all my strength, I could hold the snake in one place,
but that was it. As I was screaming for Misty to help, I realized
I was stuck there, too. I couldn’t let go. The snake
might be lost in my house forever, or worse, it might come
straight at me.
Now, I don’t know my poisonous or non-poisonous
snakes, but if they are anywhere around me, I am
assuming they can do some harm. Misty and I are both
screaming ideas of what to
do next. She yells, “I can’t help you. I’ve never killed
anything.” I told her that she was going to have to help
me or call the police. She called Steve, her husband. He
calmly says to cut it’s ‘neck’ about 2 inches back from the
head.
Ok. I’m in a bit of a jam, here. I can’t raise the
shovel, and move it from the middle of the snake to 2 inches
below it‘s head. The snake might not just stay still for
me to adjust the shovel. And, I’ve already seen how fast it
can move. I asked her to go get another shovel out of the
barn.
Misty is back with the shovel. And, I plead with
her to hold down the snake with her shovel, too. Now,
with her holding it down, I try to get my shovel in place
2 inches (approximately) back from the head. And, that
doesn’t work either. The snake is 100% muscle.
Misty and I are both ‘traumatized’ as I made the
only move I could at this point when I pounded it. It finally
stopped moving. I scooped it up and put it in the
box. We both sat down and tried to stop shaking. As glad
as I was to have the snake out of the house, I hated killing
it.
I left it on the porch to show the others just how
big it was. And, Misty left work for the day. About 2 hours
after she left, I was leaving. “What’s that? “ I thought
I saw something out of the corner of my eye. OH, MY
GOSH!! The snake has come back alive, climbed out of
the box, and is curled up next to my door! I know it must
be suffering, and I have to put it out of it’s misery. Suffering,
about to die! HAH! It was ready for round 2, as it
lunged at me. Shovel in hand, I did win the final battle.
Country living definitely has it’s excitement. And, this
was one of them!
Moral of this story. If you find a snake skin, there is a
snake!